What Did Lily Put On Her Dad's Grave? The Poignant Truth From 'It Ends With Us'
Have you ever wondered about the quiet, yet incredibly powerful moment when Lily Bloom visits her father's grave in Colleen Hoover's "It Ends With Us," especially in the movie? It's a scene that truly stays with you, leaving many people asking: what did Lily put on her dad's grave? This isn't just a simple act; it's a profound gesture, a moment of deep healing and a way for Lily to finally come to terms with a very difficult past. So, too it's almost, let's explore the meaning behind this specific item and why it matters so much to her journey.
The story, as many know, kicks off with Lily returning to her hometown in Maine. Her father has passed away, and she's there for his funeral. This whole situation is, you know, already heavy, given the strained relationship she had with him. Her mother, Jenny, even asks Lily to try and say five good things about him during the service. That's a pretty big ask, isn't it, especially when you've experienced so much pain tied to someone?
Lily's relationship with her father was, in a way, very complicated. He was abusive towards her mother, a fact that deeply affected Lily throughout her life. So, when it came time for the funeral, the idea of listing "good things" about him was, quite frankly, a huge challenge. This background is crucial for really getting why what she eventually placed on his grave held such immense weight for her. It's not just about an object; it's about a lifetime of feelings finally finding a quiet release.
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Table of Contents
- Who is Lily Bloom?
- The Funeral: A Silent Eulogy
- What Did Lily Put on Her Dad's Grave? The Symbolic Gesture
- A Visit to the Past: Healing and Hope
- The Echoes of Abuse: Connecting Father and Ryle
- Frequently Asked Questions
Who is Lily Bloom?
Lily Bloom is the central figure in Colleen Hoover's popular novel, "It Ends With Us." She's a young woman with a flower shop dream, a complex family history, and a journey of self-discovery that resonates with many readers. Her experiences, particularly those tied to her childhood and her father, shape much of her adult life and choices. She's a character who, you know, really tries to break cycles and find her own path, even when it's incredibly tough. Her story is, in some respects, about finding strength in vulnerability and choosing peace.
| Detail | Information |
|---|---|
| Full Name | Lily Bloom |
| Hometown | Plethora, Maine (initially) |
| Mother's Name | Jenny Bloom (Amy Morton in film) |
| Father's Name | Andrew Bloom (Kevin McKidd in film) |
| Profession | Owns a flower shop |
| Key Relationships | Atlas Corrigan (first love), Ryle Kincaid (husband) |
| Daughter's Name | Emerson |
The Funeral: A Silent Eulogy
The funeral for Lily's father, Andrew, is a pivotal moment early in the story. It's where we, you know, really start to grasp the depth of Lily's pain and the difficult relationship she had with him. Her mother's request for Lily to say "five good things" about her dad at the funeral sets up an immediate tension. How do you find good things to say about someone who caused so much hurt, especially to someone you love so dearly?
The Book's Version
In the book, Lily's attempt at a eulogy is, quite honestly, a powerful silence. She steps up to the podium, ready to speak, but finds herself unable to utter a single word. She stands there, in deliberate silence, for several minutes. This silence speaks volumes, doesn't it? It communicates her profound inability to find anything positive to say, a testament to the deep scars left by his abusive actions. Eventually, a family member has to, you know, forcibly remove her from the stage because she just can't bring herself to speak. It's a very raw, very honest moment that shows the true impact of his behavior on her.
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The Film's Adaptation: A Blank Napkin
The movie adaptation takes a slightly different, yet equally impactful, approach to this scene. In the film, Lily also attempts to deliver her eulogy. She has a napkin in her hand, and on it, the numbers one through five are listed, presumably for the "five good things" her mother asked her to say. But here's the thing: the spaces next to those numbers are completely blank. There are no words. She looks down at this napkin, realizing she has nothing to fill those spaces with. Just like in the book, she ends up leaving the funeral without speaking, unable to deliver any kind of tribute. This visual of the blank napkin, you know, really drives home the same message of profound emptiness and unresolved pain. It's a slightly different portrayal, but it captures the very same feeling of a daughter struggling with a father's legacy.
What Did Lily Put on Her Dad's Grave? The Symbolic Gesture
Now, to the core question: what did Lily actually put on her dad's grave? This specific act is shown towards the end of the movie, representing a significant moment of personal growth and healing for Lily. It's a powerful visual that really ties her journey together. As a matter of fact, the answer is directly linked to that scene at the funeral.
In the film adaptation, Lily places the very same napkin she held at the funeral onto her father's grave. This napkin, you remember, had the numbers one through five scrawled on it, but with entirely blank spaces where the "five things" she loved about her father were supposed to be. It's a deeply symbolic item. It represents the absence of positive memories, the void left by his abusive behavior, and the difficulty of finding anything good to say about him at the time of his passing. So, it's not a bouquet of flowers, or a small stone, but rather this very personal, very telling piece of paper.
This act of leaving the blank napkin on his grave is, in a way, Lily's final, silent eulogy. It's her way of acknowledging the truth of their relationship, not sugarcoating it, and accepting the reality of her past. It's a moment of release, a quiet declaration that she's making peace with the difficult memories, not by forgetting them, but by acknowledging them and moving forward. It’s, you know, a very brave thing to do, to face that truth head-on.
It's important to note a distinction here, as the provided text clarifies: while the napkin is a recurring motif and culminates in this powerful scene in the movie, the napkin itself is actually not featured in the novel. In the book, the blank eulogy is more of a conceptual silence, whereas the film gives it a tangible form through the napkin. This difference is pretty significant, as the visual of the napkin makes the gesture even more poignant for film viewers. So, if you've only seen the movie, this is what you'd remember her leaving.
A Visit to the Past: Healing and Hope
The act of placing the napkin on the grave isn't a one-off event. The movie, in particular, ends with a flash forward that shows Lily, her mother Jenny, and Lily's young daughter, Emerson, visiting Lily's father’s grave. This scene is, in a way, incredibly moving. It highlights Lily's journey of healing and the new chapter she has begun.
During this visit, Lily introduces her father to his granddaughter, Emerson. This is a powerful moment, symbolizing a bridge between the past and the future. After years of resenting her mother for staying with an abusive man, Lily has, you know, made peace with her past. She's grown, she's healed, and she's built a new life. And it's at this point, during this visit with her daughter, that she leaves the blank list from her eulogy on his grave. It’s a very deliberate action, showing her acceptance and closure.
This final scene at the grave, with her daughter present, truly emphasizes the theme of breaking cycles. Lily isn't just leaving a piece of paper; she's leaving behind the pain and resentment, making space for a healthier future for herself and Emerson. It's a testament to her strength and her commitment to ensure her daughter doesn't experience the same kind of childhood she did. She's, you know, really showing that she's moving on, in a very meaningful way.
This moment is a quiet triumph. It shows that even after immense pain, there can be a path towards peace and a future filled with hope. The grave visit, with the addition of Emerson, is a beautiful representation of how Lily's personal journey has culminated in a place of strength and resilience. It's a very full-circle moment, wouldn't you say?
The Echoes of Abuse: Connecting Father and Ryle
The story of "It Ends With Us" isn't just about Lily's past; it's also about how that past, you know, subtly influences her present. The very fact that Lily meets Ryle Kincaid so soon after burying her father highlights a chilling connection between the two men that Lily initially can't quite see. It's a connection that, quite frankly, becomes increasingly apparent as the story unfolds.
Ryle, like Lily's father, possesses a charming demeanor that, in some respects, disguises less admirable traits. He has moments of selfishness, possessiveness, and, crucially, a propensity for violence. This parallel is a central theme of the novel, showing how patterns of abuse can, you know, tragically repeat themselves if not recognized and confronted. Lily's processing of her relationship with Atlas, as she reads through her old journals, helps her remember how Atlas appeared in her life as her father's abuse of her mother worsened. Atlas gave her the true friendship and love needed during those tough times.
The narrative subtly draws parallels between Andrew and Ryle, forcing Lily to confront the uncomfortable truth that the man she loves shares unsettling similarities with the man who caused her so much pain. This connection is, you know, pretty vital to understanding Lily's difficult decisions throughout the book. It makes her journey of breaking the cycle even more courageous, as she has to face these echoes of her past in her present. It's a stark reminder that sometimes, the hardest lessons are the ones we've, apparently, seen before, just in a different form. You can learn more about the author and her works here.
This mirroring of traits between her father and Ryle makes Lily's eventual choice to end her relationship with Ryle incredibly brave. It's a conscious decision to not let history repeat itself, to protect herself and her child from the same kind of suffering her mother endured. The blank napkin on her father's grave, in this light, becomes even more significant. It's not just about acknowledging the past, but also about making a firm stand for a different future. Learn more about Lily's journey of healing on our site, and link to this page exploring the themes of abuse in literature.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some common questions people often have about Lily's actions and her father's role in "It Ends With Us":
1. Why did Lily leave a blank note on her father’s grave?
Lily left a blank note on her father's grave as a symbolic gesture in the movie adaptation of "It Ends With Us." This note, which was a napkin with blank spaces for "five good things" she was supposed to say about him at his funeral, represented her inability to find positive words due to his abusive behavior towards her mother. It was her way of acknowledging the painful truth of their relationship and, in a way, finding closure by accepting that truth rather than pretending. It's, you know, a very honest moment for her.
2. What was Lily’s eulogy to her father?
In both the book and the film, Lily's eulogy to her father was essentially a powerful silence. In the book, she stands at the podium for several minutes, unable to speak, before being removed. In the film, she holds a napkin with blank spaces for her intended "five good things" but ultimately leaves the funeral without saying anything. Her silence, or the blankness of the note, served as her true eulogy, reflecting the strained and difficult relationship she had with him due to his abuse of her mother. It was, you know, quite a stark way to communicate her feelings.
3. How did Lily make peace with her past regarding her father?
Lily makes peace with her past by confronting the truth of her father's abusive actions and choosing to break the cycle of violence in her own life. This process involves acknowledging the pain he caused, understanding how it impacted her mother, and ultimately making decisions that prioritize her own well-being and that of her daughter, Emerson. The act of leaving the blank note on his grave, and later visiting with her daughter, symbolizes her acceptance and release from the burden of that past. She's, you know, really moving forward with a new understanding and strength.
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